I had a dream I was seeing a sand mound, like a giant hill in the desert. At the bottom of it was an ocean. There was someone walking slowly down the hill, it was me but also not. Maybe I felt the person represented me. A giant trail of blood followed them as they trudged down the hill, they were clearly exhausted. But I knew if I just reached the ocean at the bottom, and got in, I would be ok and heal. The person eventually made it to the end, and collapsed in the ocean but I knew they would be ok now. My dream then went to me watching my mother lay in a hospital bed with tubes attached to her. Her heart was in a glass box next to her and the edges were black. She had tubes connected to her chest. She woke up and wanted to get up because she was disoriented. I helped her get up and remove the tubes. She stood in front of me and was taller than me again, and looked relatively healthy. She began telling me she had a dream. A dream that god was helping us but humanity was becoming too cruel, and now there would only be malice and oceans full of blood. I said “mom I love you but I don’t think this life was meant for us” And I sobbed hugging her, and told her in our next life we will get it right… she nodded and we cried together then I woke up. For context I don’t talk to my mom in real life she was abusive. She also had skin cancer that was untreated for 13 years and became gruesome. She was also developing grandiose ideas and becoming extremely religious.
Your dream is rich in imagery and emotion, and it seems to reflect complex feelings about your relationship with your mother, personal healing, and existential concerns. Here's a breakdown of some key elements and possible interpretations:
Sand Mound and Ocean: The sand mound may symbolize the burdens and challenges you've faced in life, particularly tied to your relationship with your mother and possibly the emotional "weight" of her past actions. The ocean, in many cultures, represents healing, emotional depth, and transformation. The transition from the sand mound to the ocean suggests a journey towards healing and a need for release from those burdens.
Exhausted Figure and Blood Trail: The figure that represents you, tired and leaving a trail of blood, may symbolize pain, suffering, and emotional exhaustion stemming from your experiences. Blood often signifies a connection to life, vitality, and sacrifice. The exhaustion could express feelings of being overwhelmed by the past and the difficulties tied to that relationship.
Mother in the Hospital and Heart in a Glass Box: Your mother's condition in the dream might reflect your worries about her health, both physically (her cancer) and psychologically (her emerging grandiose ideas). The heart in a glass box suggests fragility and perhaps the way you have compartmentalized your feelings towards her—distanced yet protective.
Her Dream and Your Exchange: The discussion about your mother’s dream indicates a shared understanding or fear of the world's cruelty. Your statement, "this life was not meant for us," reveals a realization or deep yearning for a different, possibly more peaceful existence—suggesting a desire for healing, both for yourself and for her. The acknowledgment of past pain and the notion of getting it right in the next life points to hope and an implication of forgiveness.
Emotional Catharsis: The act of sobbing and hugging your mother can symbolize a release of pent-up emotions. It’s significant that you comfort her, as it may signify a desire to reconcile the painful aspects of your relationship and to find closure.
Overall, this dream appears to highlight a deep inner struggle with the past, healing from trauma, and the need for release from a painful relationship. It suggests a journey towards understanding and possibly forgiving not just your mother, but also yourself for the enduring pain associated with that relationship. The vision of a different life points to your hope for renewal and healing, perhaps in this life or the next.